River of Dark

Lethe, she gives and she takes,
A whisper in the dark,
A promise in the wind.

Hades dark cavern, we lie once more
Bear all the love we loved
And all the sins we sinned.

A gift so large, a price to pay
Hearts torn asunder
Souls she doth rend.

Till one day under Fates thread
A chance in time,
And she will mend.

Dark will be the days hence,
Despair her winding path
In the darkness, a light
In despair, a hope.

So drink, children of the Universe,
Cool water to end all things
And herald the New Age.

Anthem of bliss

Of dogs and grass and dandelion flowers,
Of the Sun in the sky
After April's wet showers.
The dirt in my toes
As the white rooster crows:
"All is well
On this Earth
All is well!"

A Spiritual Sabbatical

A "theory" I have pondered for a long time, I am sure it is not original. I have never officially read it anywhere, but it is an idea I have toyed with and built upon for years. In my youth it began as an answer to the question of why we are here, which only forced me to ask more questions such as why is there human (and non-human) suffering, what is Fate, are there differing types of Fate, why would Fate exist and so on. Some of these questions I have found a home for in my theory, but it does not mean that they are answered. Never could I even entertain the thought of having the answers or to be so bold and arrogant to claim so. I am merely offering up a suggestion of possible ways in which the universe works.

My Sabbatical Theory:

I believe that if we were to subscribe to the reincarnation "theory" we would need to answer the question of why we would be coming back here all the time. As a little girl I thought that it was like a fact-finding mission. I think that it is two-fold.

The first mission is to work pout the "kinks" in our personalities. I believe that there are certain spiritual flaws that continue to be played out time and time again. It is up to us to recognize the flaws within ourselves and attempt to exercise them. It does not have to be necessarily horrible flaws. Perhaps it is our mission to works out the baser flaws lower on the spiritual totem pole. We battle our innate greed, our fear of others, our cynism, dogmatic ideals, etc. Once these are out of the way it is time to begin work on our spirituality. For those who are ready, it would be a phase to learn about the godhead(goddess head...heehee) and our connection to it. It is here that we can learn we are not only beings capable of love, but being made of love.

The second mission is to simply learn. I believe that when we do not inhabit this physical plane, we have access to all of the knowlege we have acrued over the time frame we exist in. Possibly we even have access to a universal knowlege and the universal consciousness. It would almost be like having the Internet of All Things at your fingertips. If would most likely be difficult if not impossible for an unevolved soul (relativly speaking) to evolve more with this knowlege base so accessable. If we could be born into a physical realm with no memories to a finite life, we could then use this information at a later date. That is why I believe I need to make the most out of my life, because I cannot take material possessions with me. My memories, experiences, downfalls, images, loves etc. can be taken with me. These are the true treasures of existance.

I think that souls are on differing levels of enlightenment. Whereas one soul is "lower" on this scale another could be higher. The "younger" soul is most likely concentrating on themselves, much as a small child is trying to aquaint themselves with their surroundings and their own identity before branching outward to encompass more. A more evolved soul, in my belief, is one that has seen through the material. They love unconditionally, especially the "younger" souls. They probably (even unknowingly) take a stance of protection and guidence for others. This is not something that is ingrained in them at birth, I believe. Although I think that it could be "destiny" because of the age of their souls, I think that it could take time for the human spirit to mature and "settle in." Sometimes the lure of youth etc. could temporarily sway one from their Path. But in the end, it will be found. If it isn't found, then there were still issues to be worked out before this soul enters a new level of enlightenment.

I have two theories of "Fate." The first is that there are points in a lifetime that things occur which are fated. These are the main fate points. From these, many different paths could spread out and brach onto other lesser fate points. But then at some point, all of these paths will connect at another main fate point. I have drawn a diagram for a visual, but I can't get it on the computer. The second theory is that everything is Fated. I tend to believe in the first theory. I see things in my own life that have occured which leads me to believe in this first theory. At the times in my past when things would happen that were out of charactor, or an odd occurance I can follow the event through time and see that it lead me to a very important moment in my life. If I trace that occurance back through time, I can see that it was nearly impossihble for it to happen, and that if things didn't turn out the way that they did, I would have been in a completely different place under completely different circumstances.

For this one major event in particular I wonder why? Why did everything go through such a great amount of trouble to put me here? As it is a relitivly recent culmination, I cannot answer this yet. Perhaps I never will really know.

Trace an important event through your life and think of its significance. It is definatly difficult, though exceedingly interesting.

Why would Fate exist? Yikes, what a question. Why would anything exist! I think I still need to work this one out, for I believe that there are different levels to this question. It could be related to the specific soul, to the universe as a whole, and so on and so forth. How would anything get done if not for some plan. Even if it is not the plan in the conventional sense in which we generally perceive such, there could be a "plan" as far as the universal consciousness is concerned.

What is this Plan? Arrgghh! An even harder question that keeps me up late into the night. There is no answer I think. One theory I have dreamed up involves the universal consciousness and physics though. In a past blog I spoke about the mirror being smashed. I think as the eastern religions do. Western religion believes that the Divine (God) created the Heavens, Earth and Man. Eastern religion believes that the Divine SPLIT to become the heavens, the earth and Man. So, if there was at one time A consciousness, it split. Like a mirror into a zillion pieces it was scattered across time, space, and area. Picture a universe. In the center is a bright, dense mass. The further you go away from the center, the further the mass is spread out. I think souls are like these pieces of the mirror. We are all on a journey to connect back to the Source, and we are. This explains differing levels of souls, a Plan, universal consciousness and the feelings of lonliness, and depression that humankind battles. Imagine being torn away from a close, loving family to be thrown in a tiny cement cell with no sunlight or loving comfort from others. In essence that is what our problem is. A uninformed soul battles these feelings because they unknowingly suffer from this disease. They do not know that we can go back to the Source, nor do they even know that there IS a Source! We can connect to it NOW, through meditation, love, yoga, etc. It can be found in anything you put your heart into.

Anyway, so those souls closer to the Source are mpore evolved. It is like being closer to the sun would make you warmer. Souls such as Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu etc. would have been such souls. They came here with a mission and changed the world. As proof of what I was speaking of earlier, Jesus was 32 when he began preaching. We may never know what the first 32 years were spent doing. Either it is lost or being hidden. Look up the name Sauniere sometime. There is an alternate story to Jesus Christ after the "crusifiction." Buddha was also older, as he was a prince and was either destined to be the greatest king or the greatest prophet. His father the king wanted his son to be king as well, so made him forever stay behind the castle walls. Married and spoiled the prince happened to see a monk one day in a foray outside the castle walls. He left his opulant palace and meditated. He fulfilled his destiny and became the greates prophet. In other ways he too was a great king. As was Jesus. Lao Tzu was a hermit that wote his 1,000 word book on the Tao when he was quite old. No one knows much about his life, ket alone his early life.

All of these prophets spoke of love, Magick, etc. Unfortunaly, I believe that the Catholic church corrupted Jesus and made him into a symbol for themselves. The first step was to create a martyr. Nothing speake to the people more than a martyr. Then the ressurection. Who would worship in a church founded by a poor prophet who married a prostiture and fathered children like any othe "common man?" Well, I would honor the man, but certainly not the church that corrupted him. They took his Messege and turned it around to match their own agenda. They created a tyrannical God whom they force their worshippers to believe is kind. Through fear, dogma, desire for power and money the Church was born (in my opinion...which is not necessarily the Truth).

Yikes, I have written a lot and answered so little. I do go off on a tangent. It all started with the sabbatical theory.

One more thing to ponder, which I will discuss at length some other time. There is no difference in the basic practise of prayer, spellworking, and reality shaping. Where the church uses symbolic tools, incense, candles, alters, words, rymes, etc, so does Buddhism, Shinto, Hinduism, Paganism (wicca, etc.), and so on.

Blessed Be

(Read Oriental Mythology by Joseph Cambell)
(Listen to The Mummers Dance by Loreena McKennitt)
(Enjoy everything you cant touch...because you can take it with you)

Feenix Ravenwulf

A Note About Christmas

For many people it is difficult to "get into" the "holiday spirit." Myself included. Even though I am not a Christian, I am still coerced by society (and, Ok...my family too) to celebrate it. For me it is a hard time of year to be happy, which is unfortunate. It can be the most wonderful time of year. The solstice is a Magickal time, which I think needs to be approached with the innocent eyes of a child. Even without the promise of presents, as a child I recognized the certain something in the air.

It is a stillness of the soul, as if the world was holding its breath for something. My fondest memories are of lying in the glistening snow on my back and staring up at the stars. The sounds muffled and the "worries" of the day left far behind.

My family would take a day in December to go to Bear Mountain State Park to hike and drink hot chocolate in the lodge.

To me, it seems as if the older we get, the more we become mired in the daily grind. What was once a magickal time of year is transformed into a time of obligation and consumerism. Everyone is forced to conform to unspoken rules. And we all hate pressure.

*Sigh*

I guess I tend to get a little down this time of year. Most Capricorns tend to age in reverse, so hopefully I will find Christmas more magickal as I get older again.

A Blog, Bliss

I have tried to ponder what it is that makes a blog interesting and appealing to others. The more I think about it, the more I believe that it is personal for everyone. To me, it is a place where I can write down my thoughts. It differs from a journal in that I can say something, and it can be read by others. In that way I am given the power to shape minds and ideas.

If I were to guess how many people would veiw my blog, I would have to say that the number most likely lies in the region of none. It is not necessaritly the fact that one shall read my writing, just the fact that one COULD which makes the difference.

What would I say to the world if I knew it was listening? If I could have one minute and everyone would hear me, what would I say? It may be something like:

Find your bliss. Be happy with what you have instead of what you crave. All that we can take with us at the end of our journey is what lies within our hearts and minds. All that is this crude matter is left behind. Follow the Middle Way with love and all will be well. It is the light against the darkness that plagues us: doubt, lonliness, lies, greed and shadows. They lead to depression- a sickness that is bringing about the destruction of mankind. Remember: I Love You.

I know that I sound like a flower-child hippie, and that is an unfortunate tag for one who believes wholeheartedly that change needs to be made in this Aquarian Age. We are surrounded by such glaring contrasts in everyday life that we have turned a blind eye to them. On one hand we are forced to endure the tyranny of war, death, sanctions, and greed. On the other we are offered "happy, fuzzy" explanations, religions, philosophies and media. The problem is that they are one in the same. As in George Orwell's book, 1984, we are forced to doublethink on a regular basis. In a way it keeps us sane. In other ways it is slowly driving us mad.

The Reticular Activating System or RAS in the brain is responsible for the filtering of sensory information. Without this part of the brainstem people would be bombarded with a sensory overload at all times. In much the same way, I feel mankind has begun to "filter" out the unpleasentries of life around us and have become complacent. The "rebel spirit," the "movers and shakers," and the "revolutionaries" no longer exist in the large amounts as in the days of old. Those with vested interest and a large trust fund generally have a lot to say. Or radicals who would never be taken seriously.

Big Brother is watching, so I shall desist. For now.

Find your bliss. Find that euphoria you feel for no reason and chase it. We can therein find true enlightenment. Am I enlightened? No. I am the student. The wiser one becomes, the more they realize they have further to go. The more questions they answer, the more mysteries they discover.

We have the power to shape our own reality. It takes much work. Abracadabra does not solve it. Belief in ourselves and the knowlege of prana, ki, magick, whichever name you call it will lead us down the right path.

Enough of that for now. That sets the stage for this blog. It is the rantings of one. Christians, pagans, buddhists, all are welcome to share thier thoughts. Within each religion is the truth. Each religions soul is identical. It is the outside trapping which differ (and in my opinion, sometimes corrupt) the differing religions. My opinion is not Right, nor is it the Truth. It is this humble beings take of the world. How we all inter-relate, and exist in the web of prana. We are not billions of beings. We are not Germans, Irishmen, Africans, we are just one being. If you hold up a perfect mirror to the sky then proceed to smach it into a trillion pieces, it is still just a trillion pieces of one mirror.

Blessed be.

(Listen to John Lennon's Imagine)
(Read A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn)
(Do something to make someone happy, even if it is something as simple as a compliment)
(Smile at a child)